Hey all, welcome to my blog. This post contains chapters from my debut novel, HANDCUFFS. For those who don’t know about the book, it is a sinful romantic thriller. In short, an erotica. So, my advice is, if you are not comfortable with the genre, I believe you shouldn’t scroll further to read it. But if you are, please do. This is my first experience with writing erotica. It would really help me if you can add your valuable comments on the write-up.
Rather than calling this just an erotica, I prefer calling it a “psychosexual” erotica. For beginners psychosexual means “of or involving the psychological aspects of the sexual impulse.” Without further delay, let me take you into the uncanny story of raw sensuality that can turn you on and twist your mind towards the end.
There are two types of people in this world: the ones who choose their next step carefully. They calculate every step they take in order to shape the future that they desire. And the ones unpredictable, who live their life like today is their last.
Kshitij and Aranya ran into the forest. Aranya was pacing ahead of Kshitij. Perhaps Kshitij deliberately wanted her to. So that whenever he had the chance, he would hold her from behind feeling up her body that was drenched in the rain drops that had been falling at a slow pace since evening. There was a point when Kshitij engulfed her in his strong arms, but Aranya wasn’t the one who would give in to him easily. That was one of the perks of falling in the second category of people. While the others would give in to lust, she loved to tease him more.
There was a point when Kshitij wanted to hold her tight, rip off her top and feel up the softness of her breasts in his palms, but Aranya was not easy. And perhaps it was same reason Kshitij, the one belonging to the first category had fallen to her. He loved her unpredictability. He couldn’t anticipate her next move. There was always something that was left for him to discover. Monotonous was the word that never touched the square of their relationship.
It was 4 p.m. when their car had broken down near the woods on their way to Mirik, Darjeeling. It was Kshitij who drove all the way, rather than the trained driver skilled enough to slide through narrow roads of the mountain valley. Aranya didn’t even allow him to hire a car, rather asked him to rent one.
“It’s our time together,” Aranya said, “I don’t want anyone between us, not even the driver.”
“It’s dangerous,” Kshitij insisted, “I am not even skilled enough to drive through these terrains. What if I crash it from the narrow valley?”
“Then I will happily die with you,” she said.
That was the unpredictability Kshitij loved. That was the sole reason he had yielded to each and every wish of hers. Her wish was his command. But his wish was her leverage. She wouldn’t give him what he wanted so easily. She would make him plead for it, beg for it and then fulfilled his desires in a way he would have no complaints whatsoever in the end.
As their car broke down, Kshitij stepped out. He kept his handkerchief above his head. He didn’t want to get sick in the rain, that too in Darjeeling, where it could be dangerous. He opened the bonnet of the car only to find black smoke reeling out of it. Aranya stepped out of the car. She was carefree. She drenched herself in the rain so easily, Kshitij wondered whether she even felt the cold drops on her skin. She looked at Kshitij. He knew what that look meant. He knew what was going to happen. It was easy for him to figure out. What was not easy was how easily he was going to get through that stage of his struggle.
Aranya walked towards the woods on the left side of the valley, where the right side had nothing but clouds. Aranya paced into the woods. Kshitij quickly locked the car and followed her. He couldn’t just leave her. They ran deep into the forest. Aranya entered an abandoned hut. Soon Kshitij followed inside. They were getting hold of their breath.
Though they were cold, desires were burning hot within them. Kshitij was in no position to worry about the luggage they left inside the car. Aranya was his aim now. Though she was his, he had to, every day, make attempts to make her his. Aranya’s eyes were gleaming with lust. They were inviting Kshitij. With slow steps, he advanced towards her. Aranya was pinned to the wall. There was nowhere else she could escape.
The space between them started growing shorter, and their breath gradually increased. Kshitij could feel the warmth of her breath on his face and so could Aranya. As her breasts heaved, his chest gradually suppressed them too. There was no air left between them other than their lips, which were on their verge of unity when Aranya slid her hands down his pants and held his throbbing penis against her palm.
Kshitij couldn’t help but gasp with that sudden sense of excitement. He couldn’t help himself but withdraw from everything he was about to do. He had planned to give Aranya pleasures of his touches but again it was she who took the lead and left him helpless. He could do nothing but moan as she stroked him slowly and steadily. While she increased her speed, Kshitij grew restless. He was on the verge of conclusion when Aranya withdrew away from him and ran outside the hut.
Before Kshitij could understand she was out. Kshitij, in the position he was, ran outside. There was no one around to conceal his shame from. This time he wasn’t slow and quickly caught hold of her. And in no time, he slid down her jeans and panty and shoved his penis deep into Aranya from behind.
Kshitij could feel the intense pleasure Aranya was going through even though he was rough in his act. He gyrated his hips swiftly, Aranya matched his pace. Their loud moans painted the entire area but no one came to know of their existence. And in that moment of intense pleasure, both of them came to their destination. And as always, Kshitij had nothing to complain about.
Both of them lay there.
Kshitij didn’t have the energy to go back to the hut; the car was a distant thought. And even Aranya didn’t insist but lay down there, amid the wet grass, fallen leaves and broken branches with darkness spread all around.
“We are going to catch a serious cold, I am sure,” Kshitij said, holding Aranya tight in his arms, making her warm in the process.
“Maybe we will, but if this cold is the cost of the pleasure we had, I have no regrets,” she said, inserting his hands under her top towards her breasts, making herself warmer.
“How come you are the way you are? What did your parents feed you?”
“Let’s keep that a secret.”
“And why is that so?”
“That is because I don’t want to lose you, Kshitij. You see, we both are different. And that is what drives us to each other. As you know, ‘opposite poles attract’ and this is true for us. I like teasing you, but don’t like getting teased. And I can have that when I am with you. If you were like me, I would probably never have what I had just now with you.”
“Yeah, I would be the one making you run.”
“No Kshitij! At that point of time, we wouldn’t be together.”
And thus, one more feature of her unpredictability poured Kshitij down into confusion. “Let’s not talk about that then,” he sighed.
“You started it,” she said and laughed. And this was one of many ways of teasing him. “Tell me a story, Kshitij,” she said.
“What kind of story do you want to hear?” Kshitij asked without any hitch. Her wish was his command, after all.
“A story that has an outrageous and sexy girl, just like me and a handsome at the same time obedient psychiatrist, just like you.”
Kshitij thought for a while and asked, “What kind of ending would you prefer?”
“Surprise me,” Aranya look gleamed straight into Kshitij’s eyes.
“Where are the handcuffs?” Tashi asked Kairav as she pushed him onto the bed.
Kairav could see the passion of wanton desires feeding on her senses. He had seen it every night after he returned from his clinic. And today was no different. All that was different was the satin night robe that she wore. Yesterday she had worn a red colored one, and today it was purple. Rest was all the same. Her lust to have him in her, her hunger to tease him to the extent he begged her and those handcuffs, the ones that she had asked him for; the ones that she had gifted him the very next day of their first meeting.
“They’re inside the cupboard, down the second drawer,” Kairav hushed as he reached up to grope her breasts. Tashi immediately held his hand.
“Wait for it baby,” she bent forward and bit his earlobe, letting his face shower in the fragrance of her hair.
Tashi undid his shirt in haste and in the process, Kairav could see what the purple satin nightgown failed to conceal, her breasts. Those firm fair breasts holding the bead shaped nipples, meant to be sucked, made Kairav once again fall out of Tashi’s grip. And this time, he held her breasts so hard and sucked on them so deep, the very moans that Tashi let out signified that this was the intensity she preferred. And this was exactly how she wanted things to be.
As Tashi shuddered in joy, Kairav could feel her pleasure but soon felt her palm separating him from his act. “Don’t tell me that you love only my breasts,” she said and stood by the bed, while Kairav sat before her. Tashi slowly turned back. Her devilish smile was visible to Kairav from the mirror before her. She then slowly, taking every moment, allowing him to feast on the skin that she revealed, dropped the satin gown down her shoulders. She stood nude before Kairav.
Kairav could feel his hormones building up. He was already hard between his legs. And couldn’t hold himself but to bounce back on Tashi, but before he could do so, Tashi turned back and signaled him to sit. Her wish was his command. Even though he wanted to fuck her then and there itself, he rolled back to the headboard of the bed and sat against it.
Tashi opened the drawer and pulled out the box, more like a velvet jewelry box, the one in blue color. She waved it to him, and her grin said that today she had yet another trick to experiment on Kairav. She opened up the box and flashed those shining silver colored handcuffs to him. Kairav could do nothing but smile helplessly. For reasons he very well knew, he understood that he is going to be her subject of yet another experiment although he felt apprehensive about it. And for reasons unknown, he grew harder within his pants.
Kairav looked upon the round hook that was fitted to the headboard of the bed. He still remembered the day, when Tashi had moved in with him, into his house in a remote area, near the outskirts of Rajarhat, where no one could hear them if in danger. Let danger alone, Tashi said, “Now I won’t need to control my moans while you fuck me.” And getting the hook fitted was the first thing she did rather than arranging her clothes into the cupboard. He still remembered the look on the carpenter’s face because this was not one of the regular works he had done. And perhaps could roughly make out the use of it. The carpenter’s smirk to Kairav was indeed visible from a distance as he worked on that headboard.
As Kairav slid down the bed, like he was supposed to do, Tashi climbed upon him. Rubbing her breast to his face, she hooked the handcuffs to the hook and then to Kairav’s hands. While kissing Tashi’s breasts, he could feel the cold steel engulf his wrists. That lining of cold steel sent chills down his spine as always.
After Tashi handcuffed him, Kairav pulled in his hands to see the grip of it. “You are not going out loose for a long time, doctor,” she smirked.
“Do I have a choice?” Kairav asked.
“Do you want to have a choice?” Tashi hushed as she skimmed up to his face and licked his lips. She withdrew fast enough before giving Kairav a rather failed chance to kiss her.
Running her hands down his bare sculpted chest, she slowly unbuckled his belt, undid the hooks, unzipped his zipper and pulled down his pants. Gazing at his manhood, that was already leaking juices, she smacked her tongue. With slanting eyes, Kairav tried to look at her, but it was difficult for him. The position was such that he could look at nothing else but the false ceiling above his head with glimmering glass chandelier. He could feel Tashi’s soft fingers gripping his penis.
“Do you know what happened today?” Tashi hushed, keeping the grip on his penis steady.
“What?” Kairav asked restlessly. He was in a phase when he desperately wanted to cross the ocean with Tashi. But she held him at the bay, giving him the pleasure he didn’t want.
“Today I came to your clinic.”
“You didn’t tell me?”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“When did you come?”
“That doesn’t matter now. It’s not important now. What is more important is what happened next, when I came to your clinic. Any wild guesses?”
“I don’t know.” Kairav was becoming restless second by second.
“You do know it. You just don’t want to accept it. I saw him, you know, when I was on my way to your office. Actually, my plan was to surprise you. But he came before me and surprised me instead. Do you want to know who I met?”
Hearing the words, though Kairav didn’t want to, he felt more restless. He wanted to break out of those handcuffs and get away. But then that is what those handcuffs were there for.
“Oh! Your penis is throbbing hard, Kairav. Does it excite you to hear me with a man other than you without even knowing who the man was? Does it, Kairav? Tell me,” saying this Tashi slowly stroked his penis against her palm. All Kairav could do was mumble fainted words. This was the pleasure he was getting, the one that he didn’t want.
“Tashi,” Kairav tried to lodge a faint protest that was silenced by Tashi’s mere fingers holding tight his shaft, faintly roaming over his balls.
“You have seen how muscular Dr. Jayanth is, don’t you, the one who sits in the chamber before yours? I was walking towards you when he walked into me. I had always had a special attraction to him, you know. A desire that I could never fulfill since I am committed to you, but at that moment, when he walked into me and his hands brushed through my waist towards my ass just to hold me from falling, I became his. He could understand what he had done to me. He knew what I wanted. Do you know what I wanted, Kairav?”
Tashi stroked him harder and faster and within no time he spilled his seed all over the bed-sheet. “You get aroused by the very thought of me with Jayanth, how well would you fare when I narrate the whole thing? When I tell you where he took me afterward. How hard had he held me from behind? Oh dear, look you are getting hard again. You love this, don’t you?”
Kairav was helpless. He didn’t love it. In fact, he hated it. The very thought of it filled him in with disgust and humiliation. He wanted to run away and never return to see Tashi’s face. But he was helpless because of those handcuffs. And all this while, he couldn’t see her. All he could do was hear her and feel her grip on his penis, playing with it like it was a toy of some sort using it as she wished, draining him again and again. It was his body that was reacting, not his mind, to the sensation she was sending through her hands and words. Maybe his mind too was reacting, even though he didn’t want it to. Despite being a psychiatrist, all his studies failed when it came to understanding Tashi, who once came to him as a patient dealing with mental illness.
“So, tell me Kairav, I have asked you something.”
All Kairav could utter was moans of pleasure.
“So, you won’t answer me, Kairav? Do you want Tashi to be sad? Tell me Kairav, do you know what I wanted?”
Kairav, in fact, knew what she wanted. He, in fact, knew every day what she had wanted, sometimes it would be a stranger in the hotel, sometimes it would be a colleague at her workplace and sometimes it would be just a driver who drove her home. And today, it was Kairav’s colleague Jayanth whom she had once seen at his clinic.
And like always, in muffled voice, he said, “You wanted to fuck him.”
“Yes Kairav, I wanted to fuck him,” saying this she started to rub his penis against her vagina. The very sensation let moans escape their lips simultaneously.
“He took me to men’s washroom, Kairav. There he stripped me bare and pressed my breasts hard while rubbing my vagina with his fingers,” saying this in a spur of the moment she inserted Kairav into her and moaned, “Harder Kairav,” while Kairav struggled between humiliation and pleasure. And a point came where he gave in to pleasure.
“He made me stand before the mirror in the washroom so that I could see myself with someone other than my boyfriend. He could see all of me which was only yours a few moments back. He fucked me hard, Kairav.” She increased her pace and so did Kairav. “And just imagine you entered the washroom, what will you do?” Tashi started riding Kairav harder while Kairav simultaneously slowed down. His humiliation was at its peak. “Tell me Kairav, you won’t stop us like you have stopped now. I want to hear that you won’t stop him from fucking me.”
Who was Kairav after all, just a human! He wanted to cross the ocean Tashi was holding him against. As Kairav gave in to the pleasure, he moaned the words Tashi wanted to hear. And now all that could escape Tashi’s lips were moans that were loud enough to wake up the houses nearby, if at all there were any. And as their communion became more intense, both of them shuddered together taking each other’s name.
Tashi came above Kairav and kissed his lips. Kairav could do nothing but reciprocate. He knew what had happened; it was a daily affair for him, giving in to Tashi’s fantasies. As they kissed he felt his hand released from the handcuffs that had held him to the bed both physically and mentally.
She released him and kept those handcuffs aside on the table. She then slid between the composure of his arms.
“That was one hell of a session, wasn’t it Kairav?” Tashi was exhausted yet excited.
Kairav chose silence over words. He had never liked these sessions, yet his body betrayed him and enjoyed all those uncanny pleasures Tashi gave him. He was disgusted not with Tashi but with himself. Because somewhere inside he enjoyed it though didn’t want to admit it himself. You can’t hide from yourself. You can’t lie to yourself. Only you know your true self. And the very fact that he enjoyed it was what made Kairav feel even more disgusted. And there was nothing really left for him to say after he had moaned, “I won’t stop Jayanth from fucking you.”
“Baby,” Tashi cuddled and turned his chin towards her, “I will never do that to you.”
“Are you sure?” Kairav asked as he had done the previous day and the day before; for the last ten months.
“I love you and no one else. I wouldn’t even dare thinking about that in my dreams let alone for real.”
These words gave Kairav some relief. And within no time Tashi dived into sleep, nude, holding him tight, while Kairav stared at the false ceiling above him, repeating the whole session that has happened today, making him hard, again and again, feeling disgusted again and again, until it was morning when the rays of the sun penetrated through his open windows. It was a sleepless night for him today like it had been the previous day and the day before, since the day she had moved into his house, almost ten months back.
A sleepless ten months!
Awake, as Kairav was all night while Tashi slept like a baby beside him, he got up from his bed at 4 a.m. in the morning. He went to the washroom and stood before the mirror. He felt like he was looking at a man who was dry of shame. He looked at those eyes of his, red. The red veins were visible to him due to lack of sleep. Ten months was not a short while. But then every day was a new one.
He stripped himself bare of the previous night’s shirt. Tashi had already taken care of everything below his waist. He glanced at his body, well chiseled. He didn’t have more of it, which again was a downer. He smiled at himself and later frowned.
“I could have had any girl, and of all I have Tashi,” he laughed at the irony. What was it that kept him stick on to her? It was something out of his comprehension. Every day when he came from the clinic, his motive to walk away from this relationship was strong. But seeing Tashi, everything in his mind used to disappear into thin air, till she bounded him with those handcuffs where he helplessly enjoyed the very thing he wanted to run away from.
He brushed his teeth and wore his hooded gray colored sweat-shirt and track pants. To maintain that chiseled body, he needed to work on it every day. Watching Tashi still asleep, as a matter of fact, that time was for everyone to be asleep, Kairav left to jog. It was dark with faint rays of sunlight piercing the sky.
He was slow, composed. With silence all around him accompanied by the sound of his gradually increasing breath, he remembered how he had met Tashi for the first time.
It was a normal day like all other days. But for Doctor Kairav Nag, the twenty-seven-year-old celebrity psychiatrist, (Yes, he was a celebrity. In fact, having more than one million followers on Instagram both from India and abroad for the charismatic personality he had) every day was different. Social media websites and e-magazines went gaga about him for just the mere smile of his. Fitness magazines had his interviews time and again regarding various diet charts and the work out schedules he followed. He even had the opportunity to appear on the cover of the men’s fitness magazines, even though he refused. The officials insisted claiming this to increase his sex appeal to women even more, but he kindly refused again saying, “I am no model. I just like to treat people of their mental traumas. So, it would be kind of you to not insist on this again. Whatever I do, I do to help people, and this doesn’t help a bit.”
Paparazzi was a daily habit for Kairav as he passed by the street to his clinic and then to his chambers. And those pictures were published in various men’s fashion blogs. He was also listed as one of the most handsome doctors in the world, though he never tried to articulate this or made any attempt to garner fame through his already famous charismatic personality. He stuck to doing what he was best at, Psychiatry. And that increased his sex appeal even more.
There was a huge line of patients before him, a daily affair. And that, in return, was profitable to the clinic he worked in. And that, in return, made him command a very handsome salary, which doctors could only dream of. Of his list of patients, most of them were women and of all the women, ninety-seven percent of them just made fake appointments to meet him, or say spend time with him faking their illness.
Kairav was talented, and within no time he could figure out who faked and who didn’t.
It was a normal day for him. But it was different. He rang the bell for the attendant to send in the next patient and got busy doing the paperwork. He heard the door open and then the chair before him dragged with a creaking noise. He lifted his head with a smile and it was Tashi before him, as the appointment list on his LCD desktop screen said.
Tashi spoke before Kairav could, “When I sit on my chair and look around my whole room, the only and the sharpest object I could find, unfortunately, is a comb. My condition has been so pathetic; my father didn’t allow me to even have a ceiling fan above my bed, though he had installed an air conditioner. I slept or rather stayed awake most of the time on my mattress without a bedsheet on it. There were no doors, and anyone could walk in straight through it, and hamper my so called wretched privacy. I always wondered if I could just have a mirror in my room, so that when everyone would be asleep, I could break its glass and slit my veins, and let gushes of blood flow out and empty my body. But, now that my father was aware of my diagnosis, I have been kept away from every such thing that could kill me, or specifically, that I could use to kill myself. Suicidal ideation, it was what the family psychiatrist told my father that was wrong with me, or my mind, be it anything.
So far, I have tried to kill myself seven times if accounted seriously, as in seven times of being admitted to a hospital; attempts have been many with zero success rate. Not bad, I know, and not one time I repeated the ways. I am quite innovative at that, you can say. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was twelve years old, and the reason, well you can call it petty, but at that age, it was a pretty good deal to leave this fucking planet. I tried to cut my veins at school with the help of the sharpener blade. Since it was already blunt and small too, I was alive and nothing tragic happened. Just my white skirt had tiny droplets of blood on them. It was foolish. I believe now. I could have jumped from the terrace of my school. A good fall from a six-storied building would have cut me a ticket out of this world.
The last time I tried to kill myself, I was pregnant at the age of nineteen.
Now that I am twenty-two, ever since then, my life has been amidst the four walls of my large bungalow at Salt Lake, together with my father, whom I no longer talk to except during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that too when a question is asked. My books, not course books, but novels are my only recluse from this world that I want to escape. And yes, of course, the psychiatrist my father was consulting with prescribed me medicines to calm down my anxiety to die, the so-called antidepressants. She asked my father to make me gulp them, but I was happy without them. At least I had a purpose, a goal, and an ambition to die.”
Kairav was not exactly shocked but was confused to listen to Tashi. “If you are already consulting a psychiatrist, why have you come here?”
“My father and the psychiatrist died in a car accident last week. I checked Google and found that you were the best one in the city.”
Somewhere inside, it made Kairav feel good. It was not the first time he heard such compliment, but it was the first time from Tashi.
“So, have you tried to interact with people around you, been active on social media platforms? You know these activities could take your mind off your suicidal thoughts.”
“Not interested, moreover, social media platforms are just a show-off of what you do, where you go, things you eat, people you love and goals you achieve. Yes, if I die, someone can put on a status of achievement on my behalf,” Tashi said looking down at his desk, stirring her red fingernails on the glass plate with her hands which had a lot of cut marks on them.
“Being social is not what people suffering from suicidal tendencies are good at, you are no different,” Kairav remarked. “I will refer you to a rehabilitation center. You will cope up with this in some time if you follow their timetable with strict discipline. They are very good at it.”
Kairav started writing his prescription on the doctor’s pad with his name in bold on it when suddenly Tashi snatched his pen. “No! I don’t want to go there.”
Kairav didn’t react but kept his calm. He knew the behavioral traits of the one suffering from suicidal tendencies and she had bipolar disorder. She was the one genuine, unlike the ones who faked it.
“It’s for your own safety, Tashi.”
“I will die rather than going to another confined place. I fucking hate my home now. I hate being alone.”
Kairav was in a fix. “It’s not a confined place, Tashi. Moreover, there will be many people to interact with at the rehabilitation center.”
“You have to understand.” The situation was getting tensed. The hesitant Tashi had a completely different picture now. That’s what bipolar disorder did, elevating the mood to the extreme, making poorly sought decisions with a little regard for consequences. Tashi was doing the same.
“Do you want me to kill myself, I think that’s the only solution,” saying this she took the pen and tried to stab herself. Kairav was swift. He immediately caught hold of Tashi and pulled her hands towards himself. But Tashi was not in a threatening mood, she wanted to do it for real. And to save her from herself, Kairav gripped her hand tight, and in the process got up from the seat. Extremism was one of the traits of bipolar disorder, and Tashi was excelling in it.
As the air-conditioned chamber was closed, no sound, no matter how loud it was, could escape. The outside world was unknown to what was happening inside, or even what was about to happen inside.
Seeing herself locked in Kairav’s firm grip, Tashi took the pen in her other hand and tried to do the same when Kairav put his hand on top of her breast to avoid penetration, and getting hurt in the process. But Tashi was adamant. Kairav’s left palm held tight against her left breast while the right one held her hands against her slim waist.
Kairav could feel Tashi’s heart beat rising through his palm. Kairav couldn’t help but feel the heart beat while slowly caressing her breast. He could see Tashi’s eyes closed while her hand, that was already pressed by Kairav’s, reached for his penis.
Kairav could feel that sensation Tashi gave with her knuckles. He couldn’t help but moan. Tashi’s appointment had now taken a drastic turn. It wasn’t supposed to happen between a doctor and his patient but was happening anyway. Uncertainty was what Tashi brought with her to Kairav. And there was nothing much Kairav could do to prevent it. He succumbed to her.
In a split second, Tashi turned back and faced Kairav, while blood flowed through his palm. But Kairav didn’t care about it anymore. He had killed his work ethics. He now only wanted to feed on Tashi, who was enjoying whatever Kairav was doing. As Kairav attempted to unbutton her top, she held his hand and kissed his lips. Both sucked on each other’s lips like they had been thirsty their whole life. They were in haste. They wanted to do it all in the moment they were living in. No separation, just a union. Tashi opened up her mouth for Kairav to explore her further, continuing to caress Kairav from above his trousers. He was dying to undo his zipper and break free his erection, but he couldn’t let go of the moment.
Kairav once again made an attempt to undo the buttons of Tashi’s top, but again she held his hand. Surprising Kairav, she took it and guided it into her salwar. He obeyed her want. They were in such haste that they didn’t bother opening the knots of the pajama, and forcefully guided it down her legs. He could feel her panties dripping. He rubbed her over her panties with his index and middle fingers, while she rubbed him over his trousers. Both were panting in the heat of the moment. They were simultaneously trying to do everything: taste each other, and at the same time satisfy their physical needs.
Tashi was growing more restless now. As Kairav’s trousers were not open, though Kairav could feel Tashi’s fingers, the intensity at which her orgasm was coming to a closure was fast. Kairav out of the blue took his hands inside her panties, touching her wet flesh for the first time. Tashi then moaned the loudest. Kairav inserted his middle finger into her. Tashi clenched his lips harder and bit them in excitement and sucked on the blood that erupted. But this wasn’t enough for Kairav to withdraw himself from her. With the speed Kairav finger-fucked Tashi, she came into his hands in no time.
Kairav was in no mood of stopping himself, but in a spur of the moment she withdrew from him, adjusted her clothes and left the room, leaving Kairav bleeding and erect.
Kairav suddenly came back to his senses. He felt the pain of the rupture caused with the pen and that on his lips. And as Tashi left, he just stared at the door, thinking of what had happened. But the main question was what would happen next. While leaving, before closing the door, Tashi said, “I think I have found my cure,” with a devilish grin.
Kairav returned from his jog at around 6 a.m. Tashi was still sleeping. At times, he wondered, if she was the same girl he met for the first time in the clinic. She had changed. Far more than what she was like when he had met her initially. And what had he become now? He too had changed far more than what he had been initially. He was hers, but was she his?
He stood on his balcony. He was full of sweat now. He was catching his breath when his warm chest felt a cold hand. It was Tashi. She had gotten up.
“Had a good sleep?” Kairav asked, without looking at her.
“What do you think?”
“You looked fine to me.”
“Were you looking at me the whole night?” Tashi turned Kairav towards herself.
Kairav looked at Tashi’s face. Her eyes, though drowsy, were inviting. Her previous day’s kohl was smeared across her eyes, making them darker. Though they were worn out and needed to be cleaned, it, nevertheless, increased her desirability. They were not natural. Just a decoration added for attraction. Her light brown eyes and fair complexion were the natural luring factor, enough to bewitch anyone. And the mole right between her breasts increased her appeal. She was a tempting woman, ripe in her twenties.
Tashi greeted Kairav with a yawn. She had worn her purple nightgown that had fallen in front of the cupboard. She stretched both her hands to opposite corners, making the mole between her breasts, inches above her cleavage visible. Kairav’s eyes stopped on her mole. For a second, he looked at it. Tashi, seeing him looking at her mole, didn’t take a step to conceal his view.
“An early morning session, what say?” Tashi asked.
“Don’t you have to complete your book?” Kairav asked.
“This, right now, too is a part of my book.” She wove her fingers between Kairav’s sweaty hair, both were close enough, “Men get hard and the women get wet between their legs reading my stories Kairav, no matter how sinful they are, no matter how unforgivable they are, according to the society. But they don’t know that it’s you who makes me wet. It’s you who I imagine while writing my stories. You are the muse and the character. So, if this is happening between us, the book can wait. It will only make my experience better.”
“Do I have anything that will stop you from getting what you want?” Kairav sulked.
“Do you want to stop, Kairav?” she hushed. “Don’t forget, it’s you who made me a writer, an erotic one.”
Holding Kairav’s track pants with her hand, Tashi walked into the bathroom. She stood before the mirror, looking at herself. She looked at her hair, to see if they were silky enough. She looked at her eyelashes. They were long. She blinked her eyes thrice while looking at Kairav. She looked at the pupil of her eye and saw how restless Kairav was becoming, looking at her. She looked at her pink lips. They were thin.
She smiled at her beauty and slipped her nightgown past her creamy shoulders. Her eyes shifted to her milky white breasts. She held them with her soft palms to judge their firmness. They were firm and nipples erect. Watching Tashi was enough to make Kairav hard again.
Tashi knelt to pull down Kairav’s track pants along with his underwear. Meanwhile, he had already opened his sweatshirt. As Tashi revealed his penis to herself in the broad daylight she could find small but fresh bruises on it.
“We have been using this extensively, haven’t we?” Tashi hushed and licked them.
Kairav felt a surge of pain accompanied with a sensation of pleasure. As she licked further the burning sensation increased. He wanted her to stop but was in no control to do so. He moaned in pain as he grew harder by her warm tongue. He felt like Tashi was rubbing salt on his bruises, and shouted out in pain. Swiping with the tongue, licking the entire length clean with her saliva, Tashi took it all in her mouth. She sucked his penis, and in that process, the bruises were getting further scratched, sometimes with her tongues and sometimes with the salty saliva. Kairav was forced to hold her hair tight, but Tashi didn’t let go. She only increased her pace.
Tears were flowing continuously out of his already red eyes, and there was a point where he held her hair and pulled her away. He pulled her up and realized that he had already spilled his seed into her mouth. He wasn’t successful in separating himself with her; she was instead successful in getting what she wanted.
One thing was certain to Kairav that the pleasure Tashi gave him came at the cost of pain, sometimes mental and sometimes physical.
Tashi left the washroom while Kairav had a long shower. He went into the bedroom and found Tashi on her laptop. Maybe she was jotting down this session too for another erotic short story in her book. That was the reason, as she said, she like experimenting on him, but what was the limit? He didn’t know the answer.
Kairav made breakfast both for himself and Tashi. But he didn’t remind her to have it. He didn’t even speak a word to her after she had blown his bruised penis. Kairav didn’t disturb her further. Not that he wanted to, but it was what Tashi preferred, to be not disturbed while she was writing. And Tashi’s wish was his command.
After he wore his gray colored suit with a pink shirt within, the one Tashi had already handpicked and kept on the bed, he left his lavish two-storied bungalow, where only two souls resided, in his Honda city.
The distance between his bungalow and clinic, situated in Salt Lake Sector 4, was comparatively far. But having his own personal ride, he covered that distance in a span of thirty minutes with moderate traffic conditions.
He entered his clinic. The receptionist greeted him with a smile. But she glared at him, but then again this was not a new thing for him. He was now habituated to her glares and the glares of all his co-workers. The side-effects of being a known personality, he thought.
He checked his desktop monitor and further entertained the appointments made. By evening, the attendant said, “That was the last one for today, sir.”
Soon after the attendant left, Kairav got busy in doing the rest of the paperwork, of making the entries of the work he had done today, when suddenly a creaking noise of door broke his concentration. It was like someone had barged into the door with full force. He raised his head and looked towards the door.
That was the face he very well recognized. A face he saw every day. A face he would never dare forget; his elder brother’s face. Ruffled hair, bearded and a rather common man’s attire with respect to Kairav, Vaid walked up straight to his desk. Vaid was so confident, he knew he wouldn’t be stopped or questioned. It was his domain.
Vaid looked deep into Kairav’s eyes. Kairav didn’t budge either. The very expression from Vaid told that he did know something. Something very secretive, something he must not know but somehow did. Vaid quickly came up and sat on his desk. Kairav all the while was glued to his chair. He didn’t move a muscle. Vaid, taking his time, slowly moved his head towards Kairav’s ears and whispered, “She did it again, didn’t she?”
Kairav was embarrassed. He couldn’t look at his brother in the eye.
“Tell me Kairav, did she or did she not?”
Kairav kept silent but didn’t have the courage to deny him. How could he deny him? His big brother Vaid very well knew the truth of his life. He knew what happened every next second in his life. And somehow, he got to know about the previous night’s incident too.
“Tell me!” shouted Vaid this time. “You don’t have the respect for your elder brother? This was what mother taught us when we were kids?”
“Yes, yes, yes! She did it like she had done the day before. She narrated another of her fantasies for her goddamn book while we fucked. This time about my colleague, that fucking Jayanth, who practices in the chamber in front of mine. She told me that he fucked her in the bathroom after he stripped her nude,” Kairav cried out.
“And then? What happened next?”
“Then she asked me to tell her if I caught them, I would not stop them from fucking each other,” Kairav said in utter disgust. He almost cried while narrating the whole thing.
“Did you tell her what she wanted to hear?” Vaid asked calmly.
Kairav looked at him, helpless and dejected. “Yes, I told her that.”
A tight slap landed on his cheeks that reverberated around the whole room. Kairav did not resist. He had already seen this coming. The slap had the same intensity it had had the previous day and the day before. And since the past ten months that he had been narrating to him the painful pleasure he has been going through every night with Tashi.
“What kind of a fucking coward are you? I am feeling sick to even call you my own brother. How can you even do this? You don’t have any shame listening to another man fucking your girlfriend?”
“Yes, I fucking do!” Kairav raised his voice for the first time. “I fucking do, Vaid. I have been dying in shame since the last ten months. Ten months of those horrendous fantasies of her, and ten months of those sleepless nights. I haven’t slept for the past ten months, goddammit! And every morning I look at myself in the mirror, I see a disgusted man.”
“Enough Kairav! Now tell me, did it make you hard? Did you actually enjoy it when she was telling you those things?”
“No, I didn’t fucking enjoy it.”
“Were you hard last night?”
“Did you moan last night?”
“Did you cum last night?”
“Yes, I did!”
“Then you bloody well enjoyed it, asshole.”
“You don’t understand. You never understand. I tell you every damn thing that’s happening in my life and all you do is make me utter those very incidents again and again and again. How could you? Are you, after all, a brother to me?” Kairav cried out loud. His eyes were watery. And they did send a burning sensation to his eyes that hadn’t had any rest for the past ten months.
Vaid got down Kairav’s desk and knelt near him. He caressed Kairav’s hair and held his head against his. “I understand Kairav, I really do. That is the very reason I make you say this so that you leave her. But you don’t, you see. I try to tell you that this not the normal way of life. While she was fucking you, hearing those words you should have slapped her, or should have thrown her off the bed yourself. But did you? No, you didn’t.”
“I had those handcuffs on. How could I have possibly moved? All the while, when I am tied, I can only see the ceiling. I can’t even see her face while I fuck her, Vaid.”
“That is the reason I tell you not to fuck her, but straight away go and tell her that it’s over between you two. Tell her that you don’t trust her, even though she says that she loves you and can’t think of doing it in real.”
“I too want the same. I really want to. I curse the day she came into my life. Trust me!”
“What’s done is done. You can’t do anything to change it. But what’s going to happen, is it really in your hands is the real question. Is it? Tell me, Kairav. Will you do what you are supposed to do?”
“And what am I supposed to do?”
“You are supposed to go home and ask her to leave you and your bungalow forever. And ask her to never ever come back into your life. Just look at yourself. Where is your charismatic personality? Where is that celebrity essence you had before meeting Tashi? Ever since she’s come into your life, everything has changed. And you have turned into the most shameless person.”
“But this can just be her fantasy and nothing more. Maybe it just helps her write various erotic stories. Maybe it is just nothing to be thought about, because it’s just a matter of a few minutes, and after that, it is all done with. Moreover, she herself promised me that she would never do it. A relationship is all about trust, isn’t it?”
“What about respect, Kairav? Does she ever have sex with you the way you want to? Does she, ever? Why don’t you then yell at her? Why don’t you then just go and ask her to understand like you asked me a few minutes back?”
“I don’t know!”
“Because you are a fucking shameless coward, who likes to hear his girlfriend moan another man’s name while she is fucking you.”
“Enough of it, okay? You don’t understand, Vaid. It’s not in my control. She is not in my control, rather I am in hers. I am in a fixed mind when I go before her, but when I see her face, I just forget everything.”
“Coward,” said Vaid gently.
“Stop it!” Anger was slowly overshadowing Kairav’s grief.
“Bloody coward,” Vaid got up gently.
“Stop it, Vaid,” Kairav was furious.
“Fucking coward,” Vaid shouted. “This is the last time we are having this conversation. I won’t tell you to leave her the next time. Mind my words again, leave her for your own good tonight or the consequences that shall follow will be very grave for your future.”
“You dare threaten me?”
“Yes, I dare threaten you, coward!” Saying this, Vaid left.
Kairav couldn’t control his anger and threw the flower vase at him but by that time Vaid had closed the door and it crashed on the door.
The door creaked open again. Kairav, in anger, took up the paperweight and threw it towards the door only to find the attendant standing there. Although the attendant managed to escape Kairav’s missile, he was scared enough.
“Is everything okay, sir? I heard a noise against the door.” By this time Kairav too had realized his mistake.
“No, it’s nothing, I am fine,” he said and smiled the way he always used to, charismatically, closing his red eyes pouring out tears down his cheeks.
So here comes an end to what I would call a short preview of my novel. If you are reading this I am really glad that you could make it till the end. If you are eager to know further of how Tashi and Vaid control Kairav’s life further, click on either of the three links below and read it all for just a meager amount of Rs. 30. And do comment your thoughts, I would be really interested in knowing them. Cheers!!
Amazon Kindle: https://goo.gl/WdGOfl [For reading here download Kindle app]
Juggernaut Books: https://goo.gl/YsI9zx
Google Play Store (Android): https://goo.gl/QTpt8H